Free stuff and whatnot
Everyone is giving away free subscriptions to their substack newsletter. Here’s mine.
Everyone is giving away free subscriptions to their substack newsletters and while you subscribed to Tarnished Pennies because — well, I don’t really know why you subscribed, but I’m gonna take a stab at it…
Let’s start over.
Everyone is giving away free subscriptions to their substack newsletters and while I believe you subscribed to Tarnished Pennies because you thought, perhaps hoped, that I was an original thinker, that I would be offering you insight never before thought of and that I would never — and I mean never, ever, ever — follow the pack with cheap, tawdry gimmicks like freebies… well, you were wrong. I can dip as low as the next person. In fact, I can dip lower.
All of my stuff is free to everyone, all the time, anywhere! I’m not just limiting my free subs to your three besties or randoms you hooked up with on the Bumble or the Tinders or that creepy dude who keeps finding you on the LinkedIn no matter how many times you report and block his DMs. I mean anyone you even casually bump into at Starbucks as you both jostle for your coffee order the barista with the dragon tattoo piled at the end of the counter.
How many Starbucks patrons could possibly be named Karen? There are like thirty-four Karens whose coffee is getting cold.
Pick up your coffee order, Karen!
Where was I? I go to one little Starbucks and it’s like reality just stands still, shuffles backwards and I know I’m dragging y’all with me but I’m not the one who drunkenly signed up for this newsletter on a dare followed by the eighth shot of the evening. That’s on you.
Anyhoo, give all your friends a gift of this newsletter this holiday season, regardless of which one you celebrate. Even if you are late to the celebrating, like Diwali, you can still give it to your friends. It’s completely free for you, but it’s so well-written and cogently thought out that your friends will think you spent a fortune on them and will probably rush out to buy you an equally valuable gift — like a social media platform or a crypto exchange.
Like a cat depositing a dead bird on your porch, my gift to you.